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Communicating About Boundaries - Saying "No"

Many people who use AAC tell us that they often feel uncomfortable with the way they are being talked to, touched, or treated by another person. They may need strategies and vocabulary to tell people when they want them to stop doing or saying something that is making them feel uncomfortable. People who use AAC may need support to have the confidence to say “no” to certain requests made by family members, staff/attendants, strangers and someone asking to borrow money.

The majority of the participants in this project wanted to learn ways to communicate about their boundaries.

• Tips for Communicating About Your Boundaries
• Phrases to Communicate About Your Boundaries
• Sample Communication Displays
• Discussion Scenarios

ACCPC takes no responsibility for any of the suggestions listed here. These suggestions are intended to highlight issues that can be customized for an individual. We ask that you share your ideas with us so that we can in turn share them with other AAC users. Contact Us with Your Ideas

Tips for Communicating About Your Boundaries   

The following suggestions have been made by people who use AAC in response to feeling uncomfortable around a person:

• Move away from the person.


• Leave the room.


• Tell someone else what happened or that you feel uncomfortable e.g. family member, manager of service etc.


• Ask someone else to help you to deal with the situation.


• Tell the person you feel uncomfortable and repeat it as often as you need.


• Trust your gut feeling/instincts.


• Know that you have the right to feel this way.


• Know that you have the right to tell someone they are making you feel uncomfortable.


• Attention getters

Phrases to Communicate About Your Boundaries   

You may want to tell a family member, staff/attendant, or stranger that they are making you feel uncomfortable. You may need to tell them to stop what they are doing and let them know why you are feeling this way.

You may want to:

• Choose a message you want to use.


• See if you can communicate this message in an effective and efficient way.


• Decide if you want to have it added to your device or display.


• Decide how you want the message represented:
  
• Words
• Pictures
• Symbols


• You may want to discuss how and when you would use the message.


• You may want to practice using it.

The following phrases have been suggested by people who use AAC in response to feeling uncomfortable about a person:

• "Please stop. You are making me feel uncomfortable."


• "Please listen to what I am telling you."


• "Leave me alone."


• "I don’t want to do that."


• "I’m not comfortable with that."


• "Don’t touch me."


• "I don’t know you."


• "Please don’t come so close."


• "Please don’t talk to me like that."


• "I can make my own decisions."


• "This is my space."


• "I will call the police."

Communication Support

Sample Communication Displays   

Picture Displays

The following displays use Mayer-Johnson's Boardmaker v5.x software. If you want to edit or print any of these displays you will need this software.

• Boundaries

 

Text Displays

The following displays use Microsoft Word software. If you want to edit or print any of these displays you will probably need this software.

• Boundaries

Discussion Scenarios   

1. You feel uncomfortable around a person who leans on the tray of your wheelchair and puts his arms around you when he talks to you. What would you say or do?


2. Your aunt who sees you three times a year pats you on your head and talks to you like you are a child. What would you say or do?


3. You are waiting for an elevator and you don’t like the look of a person who comes up to wait with you. What would you do?